3 good things

1. Ran

2. skated a lot

3. ate a lot

4. knocked out super early

I worked on a video today. Sadly, I found out that the lapel mic that I bought doesn’t work for what I wanted it to do. As a result, I failed today, but at least I was trying something new and that’s important.

3 Grateful Things

1. Got to sleep and chill a lot more today

2. Found out that my circuit for my runs/ walks are 1.1 miles so I ran about 3+ miles today. Can’t believe I’m so winded from it now. Then again, for about 2 years, I was biking more than I was running so my muscles aren’t as used to it. As well, since I’m skating more, there is more impact in my knees. Really, biking + skating goes really well together. Biking, running, and skating in a mix is good. But running and skating, ok when you’re in your teens, questionable in your mid 20s. Sheesh. Age. I don’t want to believe it is a thing, but it is.

3. My sister facetimed me today to talk with our family since my cousin is having her baby shower. Exciting.

So I tried learning a little bit more about transitions for premiere. Unfortunately, the file that I got to use from youtube wasn’t really working for me. Well then again, I tried one transition, it didn’t work and then I gave up. However, just being in the process was nice. Tomorrow, I’m working on another project so hopefully it works out. I’ll come back to this project later tomorrow.

3 good things

1. Skated for about 2 hours today

2. Got a dollar slice and boba

3. Was able to make something today

The third one is kind of funny. To be honest, I was just going to put down the two videos from today. However, I logged back on to my personal IG just so that it doesn’t get deleted ( I do this once a month). Just happened to see something that made me angry and I tell you — anger is one hell of a motivator for me.

I find this interesting as a parallel to Prince Zuko in Avatar the Last Airbender. When he finally joins the Gaang as Aang’s firebending teacher, he is unable to firebend for a whole day. The reason is because what fueled his firebending was rage and anger. But because he switches sides — from bad to good— he no longer has purpose to fuel his firebending. The episode ensues with Aang and Zuko learning about the true source of firebending and how Zuko loses his purpose and rage, but rediscovers it in a better, healthy way and becomes a firebending master.

Ok, long story short. Anger for a lot of my life has fueled my purpose.

Anger got me into Berkeley because I wanted to show my family that I was intelligent and that I could exceed their expectations. Anger got me to help rename barrows hall. Anger got me into creating zines. Anger got me into a new job. Anger moved me out of the apt. Anger made me recently start being creative again which led to a creative opportunity with a denim shop. And once again, Anger is helping me create today.

I find it interesting how I talk to my therapist about how my anger in regards to my family, is never validated. I’m realizing that I validate my anger through these creative pursuits which is interesting. Doesn’t exactly mean that my anger is apologized to. It’s just that it is satisfied through the means of me making something, perfecting my craft, and getting closer to what I want to do.

What bothers me — similar to Prince Zuko— is that I don’t want to use rage as my source of creativity anymore. It does get tiring. I remember telling a friend that when I need a motivation, I sometimes go to the page of someone who ghosted me while dating and see what they’re up to which pushes me to try harder.

While I see how this can only be a good thing, I don’t know if it is healthy to constantly do. I feel like I just get tired.

Anywho, skateboarding was fun today. I can do all the things a 12 year old can do

3 good things

1. Work went by really quick

2. Got the rodent repellent. Too bad I got a headache

3. Got a falafel sandwich.

Wasn’t feeling super creative today so just did a different rendition of the last poster that I think it a lot better just because there isn’t a huge red bar in the middle.

I keep forgetting that I should be designing like stamps or something like that.

I have a headache. Dam. Oh well haha.