3 good things

Had a really good conversation with my roommate

Had a really good conversation with my friend in williamsburg

i biked a lot today

I woke up and my heart hurt a bit. I tried to do the normal thing I do which is beat my heart with pain. It was about 11 degrees today and I just decided to go biking. It hurt, but something about bicycling and listening to frank ocean helps me out a lot.

Frank Ocean helped me get through my first breakup in college. Frank Ocean is still my go to.

As I talked today with my friend in Williamsburg, I told her that this time around with what is going on in my life, I have a very supportive group of people that I can turn to and have my feelings be validated, but also with people to laugh with. I’m so happy that I have this group of people because I feel more confident in myself.

My friend Yang yesterday gave me an analogy, even though he hates analogies, that what’s going on right now is that I’ve built up a support system that wasn’t exactly there for me when I was younger. It was hard when I was younger since I lost my mother at 8 and as a result, a support system was my skateboard and any place that I could be alone. When I got to college and went through some heart break, it took me a long time to figure out that talking about my issues was actually a good thing. A heavy heart can be lightened with the help of friends and some laughter. I definitely did that today.

I also bought some sunglasses that I didn’t think I was going to buy (haha)

Some impulse buys are really good. I’ve been trying to just buy the things that I want because I know I’ll probably never see the item again for a long time. The sunglasses made me really excited for summer time as well. This will be my 3rd summer on the east coast as a young adult and my 2nd in nyc.

With this new agency gig starting up soon, I’m excited to have a different wardrobe too. No more business casual and I’m also excited to say that I’m pretty sure I’m going to cut my hair this summer. More likely than not, I’m also going to dye it a faded purple. Dang, I also almost got my ears pierced today too. If the price was right, I probably would have done it.

Today’s drawing is of Jim Greco. One of my favorite skateboarders from my younger days. He’s a character for sure since it always seems like he wants to be the mob master or something of the sort. My issue is that I always get the head really big rather than in the right proportion. If one thing I should practice, is drawing in shapes first.

Doesn’t really matter what I’m making nowadays, I just want to practice something.

I’m pretty excited about the next few months. More dates probably. More failures. More making things that I want to make. The zines have been halted a little bit which sucks because I just haven’t made time with everything going on.

But jeez. I’m excited. I’m learning how to fail in small calculated risks. I just hope one thing isn’t a permanent problem. I do hope that for sure. I won’t be specific because it’s something I’d like to keep private.

3 good things

Subway broke down. Walked the wrong way, but still caught the bus home. Took 2 hours, but I got to walk around a little bit. Complain and still caught the bus home. I really need to work on my reaction to the small things

Things are going smoothly transitioning out of the office

Looking forward to going on a bike ride around prospect park in about an hour/ get some groceries.

So love and relationships have been heavy on the mind the last day. I know what love is for me and I know it’s not the same thing as sex. Love to me is the nurturing of someone’s spiritual growth. Sex is a physical, innate human pleasure that can bring someone closer to someone, but I don’t know if that’s the same thing as love. I’m pretty sure it isn’t.

I feel like I’m falling back into my trend again of not creating. I drew this today and I drew this about 10 years ago for a class. My drawing today isn’t as good as the drawing then. But then again, I traced the image 10 years ago. That was also supposed to be a water color image.

I have some zines that I want to make, but I’ve been getting headaches lately. I think it’s because I haven’t been exercising because of my ankle. A few things have been thrown off.. Gemma is getting a bit impatient with me and I feel bad for her.

A lot of changes, but trusting the process is hard. If I’m given what I can handle, then I sure hope I can handle this all. Dam, I’m tired.

Back again.

So a lot has happened in the last few days. I finally finished the Adobe Creative Residency Application. I got a new job so I’m starting on Feb 19th at a cool agency called EP + Co. It’s wild how by connection is how I got the job and the fact that I’m a skateboarder is the reason why I got the job.

3 good things

Hung out in the morning with someone I’m seeing

Talked to 2 good friends today about love

Took a nap

For the next 30 days, I’m just going to draw skateboard covers. Today’s cover is Tyshawn Jones’s most recent cover of Thrasher Magazine. It’s a feat because it’s the 2nd cover done within a 3 month span. He got the cover back in Jan 2019 and now he gets this cover since he’s skater of the year. Really cool stuff.

I haven’t drawn like this in the longest time. It feels good to draw again though. I forget that drawing was one of the first artistic things that I loved to do. My favorite thing to drawn when I was younger was Dragon Ball Z characters especially Teen Gohan since he was my favorite character. Still waiting for him to have a comeback haha.

Back to what’s going on. I’m not entirely sure why I’m doing this again. I watched a video earlier today that talked about the same thing I’m doing right now. The guy wanted to do art every day because his favorite artists all make something every single day. He only made it to 200 days and then had to stop. When he picked it up again, he realized, instead of making the best piece ever, he should just make something. It goes back to the original intent of this blog which was just to feel productive. I think alongside this I need to start making my zines again.

My friend, Yang, just messaged me as I’m writing this to remind me that this blog is also a representation of the progress that I’ve made as a designer. Pretty good so far. I’ve made a lot of different zines which is cool. Got to practice typography quite a bit and have used the designs in my pieces at work. I just hope that I get more experience like this at the agency.

I made some good progress on this app.

Update on my ankle. I’m able to walk, I was able to bike to drop of my film, and I was able to do some PT for it. It’s interesting how this is the 3rd time I’ve sprained one of my ankles, but I’m actually able to walk. I probably shouldn’t be walking, but I got no other choice. It’s weird. I know that I need to chill out and fortunately I can, but jeez this is a bit complicated.

3 good things

1. I can walk. Did PT

2. Developed a roll of film

3. Agency says that I can possibly start interning with them soon. An answer will come at the end of the week.

I’m also working on another project right now. So there’s that

Crap, I need to book my flight back home for my Aunt’s 50th anniversary. Jeez, I’ll do that sometime soon.

I’m going to be 24 and a half on Jan 31st. Dang, 24 and what have I done. Quite a bit, but not everything or most things that I want to do.

I also talked to my former roommate today who is out here in NYC, but will be leaving soon. We talked about how voices in our head come from other people and it’s important to silence them if they aren’t helpful to us. It was a good conversation because the voice in my head wasn’t linked to anyone in particular, but rather the spaces that I was apart of in college. In organizing spaces at UCSB, those spaces were pretty toxic. I was barely involved, but I always thought someone was going to call me out on something.

My background is interesting because my dad work’s at walmart and my mom was the breadwinning nurse. When she passed away, my dad didn’t make that much. However, when I learned about beneficiaries, social security, and how money is passed through an IRA, we’re actually pretty well off. However, somehow, we didn’t have to pay for school. It’s largely because of my Dad’s income not being that high.

As someone with this background, it’s weird to me to use the money saved up in my 529 account. I feel like I’m cheating and not doing it how all the other first generation, low income folks are doing it. However, I have to realize that it’s foolish of me to think this way. If I can use this money to get me where I need to be, I might as well use it.

More on this later.