Sunday
3 good things
Played Settlers of Catan. I like how when I play, I kind of just play to lose. I never really care of board games. I think I like to take myself out of the winning. I don’t like that kind of stress. Hmm, well, I was about to say, think about it right now, why do I take myself out of the winning. Why don’t I want to win. But that’s just over thinking. I’m learning that I don’t have to analyze everything. That I don’t have to understand everything. If I don’t want to be stressed, then that’s ok. I’m more of a physical exertion type person anyways.
I ollied the McCarren stairset today. I wasn’t going to but I did it twice. I fell on the last attempt because I just went for it with no set up, but it’s good because I’m trying to get better at just ollieing down stairs. I still have to ollie the large 8 at 60th. I got a little concerned because when I fell, my knee pad slid up, exposing my knee. Not a good thing. However, I don’t have to think about it tomorrow because it’s raining.
Talked to my friend from the Bx about why there is a lot of hate in skateboarding. He mentioned that an OG skater in nyc said that there is a lot of arrogance and ignorance. I think that plus the heightened nature of instagram and the instant access to the fame is there too. I have the complex as well where I’m like, dam, I want to be famous, but do I really want that? I think I just want recognition where it counts. Nah, I know I want recognition where it counts meaning where I feel the most connected to. It used to be running, it used to school, it used to be social justice, and now it’s just skateboarding. I don’t care about being the best designer in the world. I just want it in skateboarding.
My roommate asked me to kill a cockroach. I mentioned to her that there was cockroach spray under the sink. She just left me to do it. I’ve had to do a lot at this apartment. Clean the kitchen, clean the bathroom, vacuum, but the nice thing is that she’s like never home and just keeps to herself. Better than my last roommate situation and the area is better. I’m hoping by the time Winter comes through or summer pulls up and my lease is up that my credit score is good enough to where I can get on the lease somewhere. My hope is that I can find another place here in Williamsburg so I can continue being close to a skatepark.
I’m wondering when covid will end. I’m not sure if it will ever go back to normal. I’m wondering if the woman I’ve been chatting with for almost 2 months now will ever come back to NYC. I should probably just move on again. I guess it just wasn’t meant to be. Part of me is ready for a relationship, but I’m honestly ok with being alone. I’ve been saying this for so long now. Am I just wanting sex again? Do I not crave emotional closeness? Overthinking again. Part of me doesn’t like blogging anymore haha.