Friday

3 good things

1. I took like 3 naps

2. I drank a lot of water and massaged my back with a theracane. My back isn’t as tight because drinking water helps flush out the toxins/lactic acid. It’s wild how as an athlete in high school, college, and even now, I didn’t know how beneficial water is.

3. Followed up on a design as seen above. Just realizing i forgot to color in the wheels, but oh well.

I woke up today again feeling a little sick. However, it’s because I biked to the beach, ran a little bit, tried to surf, and biked back. Also, I keep forgetting to go under the covers while the fan runs at night so that there is some circulation in the room. I took 3 naps today even though I went to sleep at like 10 last night in order to see if it would help me sleep more sound. However, I woke up at 1am, 3am, and then 5. Went back to sleep, woke up around 9/10, took my dog out, and then I think I went back to sleep? I know I went to sleep again after getting my groceries delivered at 12. I’m reflecting how my body feels with just running 1-2 miles a day, not biking as much, and trying to skate as much as I can. My body feels a lot more beat up since I’m jumping and falling again. Around this time last year, all I was doing was running, biking, and skating a little bit. I was also terrified of falling so much that I was thinking of enrolling in a parkour class or a martial arts class. A year later, I’m out here falling almost everyday and jumping off shit like I’m 14. I’m thinking about writing a medium article about how pandemic has allowed me to make the child inside me happy again. Or something of the sort.

I reached out to a woman that I went on a date with like a week and a half ago. She left me on read/delivered, but I frankly don’t have shame in regards to just reaching out again and seeing what happens. If it wasn’t meant to be, it wasn’t meant to be. Simultaneously, people come for a reason, a season, a lifetime and I’ve been saying this for the last 4 years. She inspired me to start trying again and here I am trying again to learn something new or produce something new.

I heard from my boss yesterday that we’ll be staying on the 4 day schedule for Q4 which is so wonderful to hear. That means my fridays are free and I get to do whatever I want on that day. However, now that Quarantine is something that is of the norm, it’s time to start preparing. Luck is when preparation and opportunity meet. I need to get lucky soon by preparing.

I keep saying I want to be a creative director for Nike Sb or Adidas. There is no one path or right way to get there. But I really need to ask myself like I have in the past, what is it that I want to do this year that is burning inside me.

I’ve seen it before where I committed myself for a year to get into berkeley, to write my thesis, to getting a job at revlon. But I’m not sure what to do now. Security is so nice. I keep thinking, comfort is mediocrity and mediocrity is the death of success. This is what I said in my interview.

I think motion design would be a good place to move towards. Or just kinetic typography. I still like shooting photos a lot tho, but I haven’t shot photos lately. I think it’s also because the developer that I go to isn’t that great anymore. It always comes out super red which I don’t like.

I keep looking at things that I want to buy. I’m looking at shoes, looking at clothes, looking at cameras, so many things. I start thinking in my head, I can buy it if I can buy it twice. I look at Jordans and I’m like, I could buy it twice, but would it put me back in any way?

I feel like I’m also forcing myself to want to know what I need to do to get better or position myself better. I’m looking at my work online and I’m like, dam, this stuff is really amateur. However, I’m glad that I have a collection of work to look back on.

I think there’s a lot of unnecessary stress that I put myself under for no reason. Recently, I did just say being a skateboarder right now is just a good thing for me to do. I think with what I wrote, I’ll leave it at that. I just want to be a skateboarder right now. I’ll keep making something everyday if I can and if I can, I’ll try to make it hyperfocused on getting where I want to go.