Dec 7, 2020
3 good things
Got to sleep in and not work out
didnt do much at work, but still got everything I needed done
Worked on a video (image still up above)
I had a really bad dream last night. Like to zombie-like, apocalyptic covid related dreams. It was very scary. I’m surprised by how many dreams I have of myself dying lately. There’s been so many. The last scene I remember was being surrounded by zombie like monsters ripping me apart. And before that, all the survivors were about to march somewhere in a peaceful protest. It was supposed to be a simulation, but it wasn’t. The saddest thing that happened was that before we go on the protest and I get ripped apart, Gemma is by my side, but she is taken from me in order to be kept safe. But where they put her, they put her in a plastic container which she doesn’t fit in.
The last few times that I’ve had a nightmare about dying, I usually have to go find Gemma because there is no one else to talk to. It’s kind of wild how this dog really has been with me through so much. I’ve talked in length about this with my therapist.
My first real job rejection, my first job acceptance, my trip across the country, my move to nyc, the first time I had real dates in nyc, multiple heartbreaks, my many job changes, this pandemic, finally moving out from my living situation with my former roommates, living in williamsburg, and so much more.
I sometimes think about what I’d do when she’s gone. How sad I’ll be. But it’s more important to enjoy this time with her as much as I can.